Relationship

Relationship

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As I grow, I learn. My desires from a relationship have changed over the course of time. Now I no longer want someone who says they would be with me forever, and I no longer want someone who says they would never leave me. I am not looking for someone who is always neatly dressed up, or wears high heels, or has an amazing sense of humour or has great cooking skills. I am not looking for someone who has the false sense of love, and thinks that love is finding that one perfect person, or someone who is trying to check items off their list while they search for “the one”. I want someone who understands that “the one” is a fairy tale, and though fairy tales do happen in real life, they take much more work than the Cinderella finding her prince charming by walking into a party. Every fairy tale ends with “happily ever after”, I want someone who realizes that the “happily ever afters” are a lot of hard work. As I grow, I have learnt that the physical traits matter less and less and loyalty and undivided attention are the most important traits in a relationship. I don’t want someone who sugar coats everything, and never gets angry at anything. I want someone who is raw, and real, and tells me how it really is. I am more interested in someone who realizes that sometimes life happens and sometimes things don’t work out. I want to be able to make a conversation with them, for four hours straight, and not feel bored, and not feel unwanted and not feel like they are not listening. I want someone who wants to know how my day was, always. As I grow, I have learnt that privacy is important, and there is only so much time that we all have on this earth and only so many people that we can spend it with. I want someone who wants to spend their time with me as much as I want to spend time with them, any less is just not good enough. I want someone who admits that they really like my company rather than playing games, alas, modern dating, games have become the norm, and I don’t have time or patience to play along. As I grow, I have learnt, that I am complete by myself, and I don’t need anyone to define my existence, but you can make me so much better. I want to be stronger with you, and grow with you, together, and individually. To tell you the truth – no, I don’t need you – but I really want you. And all of this, that you realize that we are two very different people, and that we are just starting to know each other, and that we might not work out, and everything else about our relationship, makes me think that this might actually work, that we’ve got a pretty good shot.

Depression

Depression is REAL.


I’ve received a lot of mental health advice over the year since my sister  died, and while the vast majority of said advice has been helpful, one troublesome comment keeps coming up.
“Aw, it’s okay. You’ll snap out of it; I mean, everyone gets depressed.”

Make no mistake: I know these words are well-intentioned. They are meant to lift my spirits and remind me I am okay, I will be okay, and that I am not alone. But every time I hear them, I cringe because they are not true.

They could not be further from the truth.

You see, depression isn’t a “bad day.” It isn’t a bad moment, a bad week, and everyone does not “get depressed” because depression is a disease — a disease which you cannot “shake,” you cannot “snap out of,” and you cannot wish away.

Depression is a disease you cannot will away.

That said, many use the word depressed to convey extreme sadness. In fact, the phrase “I’m depressed” may actually be more be common than “I’m sad.” The good news is this shift in vernacular has led to an unconscious shift in how we feel about depression, and what we think. But depression and sadness are not the same thing. Feeling depressed is not the same as having depression, and by saying things like this, we make things more complicated, we make things more confusing, we take away the seriousness of the disease, we minimize the disease, and we make the sufferer feel as though it is all in their head — a feeling they could, and should, be able to shake.

Sadness is a feeling; depression is an illness.

Sadness is an emotion, one of sorrow or pain, which almost always has an underlying cause/outside trigger (i.e. death, divorce, job loss, medical diagnosis, etc.). Depression, however, is a serious medical illness which can be “caused by a combination of genetic, biological, environmental, and psychological factors.” While the symptoms of depression can be intensified by an external factor, like those named above, these events do not cause depression.

Sadness may take away your desire to smile but depression will take away your ability.

I hate to use the word normal — since who defines what is or is not normal — but sadness is a normal emotion. It is a feeling we have in response to disappointment, or in response to hearing generally unpleasant, and sometimes tragic, news. Sadness can be felt when you lose a loved one, when you lose your job, when your friends cancel plans, or when your boyfriend/girlfriend breaks up with you. In short, sadness occurs when you are hurt. It comes in waves, and while sadness can linger, it is temporary.

Sadness will fade, but depression is constant. It is comprised of a series of symptoms ranging from extreme sadness and negative thinking to emptiness, hopelessness, worthlessness, and numbness. Depression can cause sleeping problems, eating problems, and concentration issues, and these symptoms are present, in one form or another, every minute of every day because happy thoughts cannot cure depression. Faith, money, and love cannot cure depression, and nothing can truly cure depression. It can only be treated and managed.

That said, it is a misconception that those who are depressed are perpetually sad and constantly crying. While these symptoms are common in the grips of a major depressive episode, for most, these feelings are not experienced on a weekly or even monthly basis. Instead, it is the other symptoms that make up their day-to-day life.

Everyone experiences sadness and grief but…

When loneliness persists, sadness sticks, and dismal feelings linger — when you become a shell of who you once were — you should consider something more may be at work, especially if you can’t “snap out of it.” Because there is no “snapping out of it” or “pulling yourself together” when you a struggling with depression. Even with the right medication. Even with all of the “tools.”

If you think you or a loved one think you may be suffering from depression, seek the counsel of a trained mental health professional — as this information is based solely on my experiences and should not be used to self-diagnose.
Share it...... 🙏🙏

AM REALLY SORRY MAA

Hi MAA, Happy Mother's Day.
  
                                   Aur look kya de rahi hain aap, thik hai na sab log social media par wish kar rahe the so socha main bhi wish kar loon. Actually no, Actually apko Mother's Day wish nahi karna chyta, Aur iske lia Mai aapse baat bhi nahi kar raha hun. Sirf aapse hi nahi, main yhaan saari MAA oo se baat kar raha hun. Jitni bhi world main MAA hai, jitni bhi meri ye story dekh paa rahi hai main.... Actually kuch confess karne ke liye aapse baat kar raha hun.

Hmmm........ Am sorry, Am really really sorry MAA. Har uss chiz ke liye, jisko tum chupaati aaiye ho aaj tak. Mujhe pata hai ghanta apko fark nahi padta ki Mai tumhe aaj Mother's Day wish karu, ya tumhe rose gift karu, tumhare liye aaj kitchen me, main chla jawu, ya tumhari khaane ko appreciate kar Du.                  Am really sorry MAA but mujhe pata hai tumhe insb chizo se koi fark nahi padta. Am sorry Mai, itna bewkuf tha, itna nadaan, itna nikamaa tha ki ye saari chize Maine nazar andaaz kar di kis tarike se papa ki daant ko chupati thi tum,kis tarike se tum mere gusse ko seh liya karti thi Aur, aaj Mai tumse dur rehta hoon, professional ho gaya hoon, study kar raha hoon, Hahahaha naam kar raha hoon, jo Mai jatata hun ki tumhare liye kar raha hoon. Am really sorry MAA.

Mujhe pata hai tumhe koi fark nahi padta ki Mother's Day aaj aaye ga ya kal aaye ga, kyu ki tumhe bhi pata hai Aur saari maa ooo ko pata hai ki... Hum sab ek dikha waa kar rahe hain, hum sab!!
Tum fir bhi wahi kitchen Mai raho gi, kon si New movie aaiee tumhe ghanta Fark ni pade ga kyu ki tumhe Mann bhi kare GA na, tum mujhe nahi batao gi, tum ghar par bhi nahi batao gi. Tum thank you bolo gi, tum blush bhi karo gi, tumhe bahut khusi bhi hogi but tum chupaoo gi, kyu ki tumhe pata hai, tumhe pata hai ki u let him down.                            Aur tumse kya saari maa ooo se sorry bolna chyta hoon main !

Am really sorry MAA, am so sorry ki tumhe meri wajah se papa ki daante sunani padti thi aur tum meri bhi gusse ko seh liya karti thi. Mai khana tumhare saamne fek diya karta tha aur tum chupke se raat main wo khana mere room Mai laa kar rakh diya karti thi.

Am sorry MAA, Aaj, aaj iss so cold progressive society main modern ho gaya hoon. Tumse 4 days Mai ek baar baat hoti hai, wo bhi main yuhi phone Cut kar deta hun ye bol kar chlo thk hai maa baad main baat karta hoon, kaam kar raha hoon, busy hun, mom apko samajh nahi aati Main kaam kar raha hun, aap logo ke liye hi to kar raha hun! Aisi jo baatein bol diya karta hun please Am really sorry MAA.

Iss Mother's Day mujhe apko wish nahi karna bas aapse maafi maagni hai, maafi bhi iss baat ki maagni hai ki Mai itna bewokoof, itna nithala, itna nikama nikala ki apki....

Apki srr(head) pe jo ye safed (white) baal (Hair) aane lage hain usko bhi nazar andaaz kar diya maine!    Bachapan ki photos dekhi kese aap mujhe bachpan ki kahaniya batati ki main uss umar (age) ye karta tha, main morning main wo karta tha, aur Mai ye bhul gaya ki aap mere liye uss wqat kitna kuch karti thi MAA. Am really sorry MAA.

Mujhe nahi pata duniya main baaki maaye kesi hain, kya karti hain but tum, tum un sabse alag ho aur, Ab pata nahi main kaise maafi maangu. Rona bhi chyta hoon to lgta hai ki tum aakar bologi mat ro Beta sab thek hain. Kya hua mujhe fark nahi padta, mujhe pata hai isliye main rota bhi nahi hoon.

Kyun ho tum aisi, yaad aati hai tumhaari ,magar Mai bata nahi pata kyun ki main itna so called busy jo ho gaya hoon. Aur aaj bhi sirf treading main apko wish kar raha hoon MAA otherwise mujhe to pata bhi nahi tha ki aaj Mother's Day hain!

MAA I love you............
dil se batane ka mauka na jaane kab Mile GA but I really love you MAA. (mom)