It’s An Act, Even The Pain You See Is Nothing…
I act like I’m okay, I tell people I’m okay, and even when people can tell I’m unhappy, I don’t show them almost anything. Hatred, rage, and self-loathing are eating me alive.
I feel so incredibly horrible most of the time. Something inside me never lets me be truly happy. I can be temporarily content, but not truly happy. Whenever I almost become happy, my mind tells me something. It tells me things like: You’re worthless, you know you have to die, you’ll never be anyone or amount to anything, you’re hideous, or you know you can’t and never will be happy. I hide many many thoughts and feelings from everyone. I know that keeping it in is bad, but if people knew some of this….. They’d either think I’m a monster or think I need to be back in the loony bin…
I act like I’m okay, I tell people I’m okay, and even when people can tell I’m unhappy, I don’t show them almost anything. Hatred, rage, and self-loathing are eating me alive.
I feel so incredibly horrible most of the time. Something inside me never lets me be truly happy. I can be temporarily content, but not truly happy. Whenever I almost become happy, my mind tells me something. It tells me things like: You’re worthless, you know you have to die, you’ll never be anyone or amount to anything, you’re hideous, or you know you can’t and never will be happy. I hide many many thoughts and feelings from everyone. I know that keeping it in is bad, but if people knew some of this….. They’d either think I’m a monster or think I need to be back in the loony bin…
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