I remember the time when my hands couldn't reach the top of the refrigerator so my mom would keep things she didn't want to get my hands on over the top..
So when I got so tall that I could chose things to keep there over the top of the 'fridge' I'd think I've grown.
Used to wear half pants to my school and used to see my seniors in long length trousers I used to think..I'll wear it someday..
And the day came and I thought I've grown up.
When my mom made me wear a formal shirt to a family function, I was the part of the MEN crowd and I felt like such a grown up.
We used pencils back then to write our notes..so when I bought my first 'ink pen' I felt like a grown up.
Mom wouldn't let me use the landline BSNL phone on my own..and if she did, wasn't allowed to talk for long like she and my dad would talk to other people..
So when I ended up a call that lasted more than an hour and mom did not stop me..I felt I've grown up.
Used to see in movies how the actor would go out on a date with the actress and she'd smile and say 'I love you' I thought will I ever get there.
And then I dated. Felt the pain of a heartbreak too. And while I was sitting in the darkness wiping my tears, it felt I've really grown up. I'm not a kid anymore.
When I used to collect coins and put it in a piggy bank I'd wonder I'll spent it on a new Bay-Blade collection..
And when I was buying my first Saree for my mother from the money I saved in my wallet, I felt I've grown up..
When I saw news on Television instead of cartoons, I felt I've grown up..
Used to stand outside the airport seeing a plane fly..
As I'd cross the airport..to me it was a miracle..
And when I had my first flight...I was sure I'm a grown man..
When I used to walk with my uncle and he'd meet someone he knew and they'd say "kabhi aana Bhabhi ji ko le kar" and walk again..I'd see him smile awkwardly..
I realized I've grown up when I actually showed up in the middle of a blind date of a friend.
I used to ride a friend's tricycle while other kids rode bicycles and bikes.
So when I sneaked away my brother's car and drove it all the way.. I felt I've grown up.
When I dropped in a ten rupee note into a beggar's bowl, I was so sure I've grown up..
When I was in a restaurant and called for the waiter for the first time and he came and bowed and asked saying, "yes sir?" I felt like such a grown up..
Going to those fancy fairs and enjoy the rides was all I used to live for At one point of time; so when I said no to that and chose to hangout with my family once, I was so proud. I wanted someone to tell me I've grown up.
And I felt I've grown.
Took me years to realize that to me, my face never changed because every day I used to look into the mirror, it was just my face.
Every single day, it was me and yet people who saw me after years told me..how I looked so different..
And the only evidence to prove the testimony were pictures.
Years went by.
When I was by my friend's side when he lost his father, we both discussed now we've grown up..
Then I saw wrinkles on my parents faces..
My brothers face..
That aunt who'd scold us if the ball would bounce into the balcony..who wouldn't shout anymore and passed away..
The shopkeeper who'd give me free chocolates just like that..was old..and in pain..
When those raw soft drinks after the basketball game became whiskey and beer..I was sure I've grown up.
And here I am..
Thinking about everything I've been through and how time still didn't stop or pause.
How the definition of growing old just scares me now.
How; somehow I feel like if only I could go back in time and be that kid again..
who knew nothing about the world..
who used to have a handful of friends to talk and play with and no responsibilities and sleep at 9 and wake up at 6 get ready for school and meet those scary teachers and live everything all over again.
And all I could gather so far is that in the end, we never really grow up, do we?
Nah, Not even when we're 101.
Because growing up should be fulfilling but we are the images of our imagination.
The journey never stops.
It's an illusion.
We just stop believing that we're never grown up.
Try as may, we couldn't possibly understand why we're here after all now, could we?
It's just the memories we will take away.
The pain, the laughter, the love, the denial..
All those emotions..it's all about it.
Everything else is just ordinary.
It's one of these days I feel everyone around me might be satisfied but no one is content.
They'll never be.
And all I can say about us...
Well, if I could gather all of that from my memories I want to believe I've grown..
But then, I really don't want to.
#mainsachitsingh
#love
#spreadlove
So when I got so tall that I could chose things to keep there over the top of the 'fridge' I'd think I've grown.
Used to wear half pants to my school and used to see my seniors in long length trousers I used to think..I'll wear it someday..
And the day came and I thought I've grown up.
When my mom made me wear a formal shirt to a family function, I was the part of the MEN crowd and I felt like such a grown up.
We used pencils back then to write our notes..so when I bought my first 'ink pen' I felt like a grown up.
Mom wouldn't let me use the landline BSNL phone on my own..and if she did, wasn't allowed to talk for long like she and my dad would talk to other people..
So when I ended up a call that lasted more than an hour and mom did not stop me..I felt I've grown up.
Used to see in movies how the actor would go out on a date with the actress and she'd smile and say 'I love you' I thought will I ever get there.
And then I dated. Felt the pain of a heartbreak too. And while I was sitting in the darkness wiping my tears, it felt I've really grown up. I'm not a kid anymore.
When I used to collect coins and put it in a piggy bank I'd wonder I'll spent it on a new Bay-Blade collection..
And when I was buying my first Saree for my mother from the money I saved in my wallet, I felt I've grown up..
When I saw news on Television instead of cartoons, I felt I've grown up..
Used to stand outside the airport seeing a plane fly..
As I'd cross the airport..to me it was a miracle..
And when I had my first flight...I was sure I'm a grown man..
When I used to walk with my uncle and he'd meet someone he knew and they'd say "kabhi aana Bhabhi ji ko le kar" and walk again..I'd see him smile awkwardly..
I realized I've grown up when I actually showed up in the middle of a blind date of a friend.
I used to ride a friend's tricycle while other kids rode bicycles and bikes.
So when I sneaked away my brother's car and drove it all the way.. I felt I've grown up.
When I dropped in a ten rupee note into a beggar's bowl, I was so sure I've grown up..
When I was in a restaurant and called for the waiter for the first time and he came and bowed and asked saying, "yes sir?" I felt like such a grown up..
Going to those fancy fairs and enjoy the rides was all I used to live for At one point of time; so when I said no to that and chose to hangout with my family once, I was so proud. I wanted someone to tell me I've grown up.
And I felt I've grown.
Took me years to realize that to me, my face never changed because every day I used to look into the mirror, it was just my face.
Every single day, it was me and yet people who saw me after years told me..how I looked so different..
And the only evidence to prove the testimony were pictures.
Years went by.
When I was by my friend's side when he lost his father, we both discussed now we've grown up..
Then I saw wrinkles on my parents faces..
My brothers face..
That aunt who'd scold us if the ball would bounce into the balcony..who wouldn't shout anymore and passed away..
The shopkeeper who'd give me free chocolates just like that..was old..and in pain..
When those raw soft drinks after the basketball game became whiskey and beer..I was sure I've grown up.
And here I am..
Thinking about everything I've been through and how time still didn't stop or pause.
How the definition of growing old just scares me now.
How; somehow I feel like if only I could go back in time and be that kid again..
who knew nothing about the world..
who used to have a handful of friends to talk and play with and no responsibilities and sleep at 9 and wake up at 6 get ready for school and meet those scary teachers and live everything all over again.
And all I could gather so far is that in the end, we never really grow up, do we?
Nah, Not even when we're 101.
Because growing up should be fulfilling but we are the images of our imagination.
The journey never stops.
It's an illusion.
We just stop believing that we're never grown up.
Try as may, we couldn't possibly understand why we're here after all now, could we?
It's just the memories we will take away.
The pain, the laughter, the love, the denial..
All those emotions..it's all about it.
Everything else is just ordinary.
It's one of these days I feel everyone around me might be satisfied but no one is content.
They'll never be.
And all I can say about us...
Well, if I could gather all of that from my memories I want to believe I've grown..
But then, I really don't want to.
#mainsachitsingh
#love
#spreadlove
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